If They’re Not Attacking Us, Does That Mean They’re Friendly?

I have spent many years considering the reality of contact and what it might mean for humanity. One assumption I hear often is that if an extraterrestrial presence is here and not attacking us, then it must be friendly. After all, if they possess technology far beyond our own and wanted to destroy us, presumably they could have done so already.

But there is a huge expanse of territory in between attacking a nation or people and being their friend or benefactor.

We know this from not only our own lives but also from human history. People and nations influence, persuade, manipulate, compete, and gain advantage without ever resorting to violence. 

Why would we expect intelligent life beyond our world to be entirely different? I think we have been conditioned to imagine contact at two extremes: either an alien invasion or the arrival of a benevolent, advanced race that has come to help us. One represents our fears and the other our hopes. Neither may represent the reality we actually face.

This is where preparing for contact becomes very personal. We have to look at our own hopes for what we want life in the universe to be. I would like to believe that a race capable of reaching our world would be wise, ethical, and spiritually advanced. I would like to believe they would come here to help us. But I also know that wanting something to be true does not make it true.

Technology itself tells us very little about wisdom. We can see this in humanity. We have nuclear weapons, artificial intelligence, and the ability to communicate instantly across the world, yet we still struggle with war, greed, manipulation, and the destruction of our natural environment. Our technological development has far outpaced our wisdom in using it. There is no reason to assume this isn't true elsewhere.

So how do we discern the intentions of a presence we know very little about? Perhaps we begin in the same way we do with people. We look at behavior.

Someone can tell me they care about me and have my best interests at heart, but eventually I have to look at what they actually do. Do they respect my boundaries? Are they honest with me? Do they respect my freedom to make my own decisions? Do I become stronger in relationship with them or weaker or diminished by them? Behavior reveals intent.

I think this is a simple but important principle to bring to contact. We don't have to decide immediately whether a non-human presence is good or bad. We can observe. We can question. Can we look at what is actually happening without filling in all the blanks with either our hopes or our fears? 

One of the most important things to look for would be respect for our sovereignty. Earth is our world of origin. Have we made numerous mistakes? Yes. We have damaged our environment, fought endless wars, and failed in countless ways to live up to what we could become. But our failures do not mean that we should give our authority over to someone else.

This is our home. And when at home, we invite in those that we trust. 

There is much speculation that extraterrestrial races may have interacted with humanity in the distant past and perhaps even influenced our development. Maybe some of this will prove to be true. But even if another race was here thousands of years ago, that does not give it authority over humanity today. 

If someone arrived at my house and told me that it really belonged to them because they had lived there before I did, I would want some very good answers before handing over the keys.

I also think we need to be very careful about our desire to be saved. I understand this desire. I look at what we are doing to each other and to the planet and sometimes wonder how we are ever going to change course. There is so much conflict, environmental degradation, and instability in the world. The possibility that someone more advanced could come and help us fix all of this can be very appealing.

Imagine being offered clean energy, an end to war, the restoration of our environment, or technologies beyond anything we could develop ourselves. What would we be willing to give in return? For another race to solve these problems for us, it would need tremendous influence over our governments, economies, resources, and technologies. We could become dependent upon something we do not yet understand and would not control.

This has made me think more deeply about what true help actually looks like. The people who have truly helped me did not take over my life. They did not make decisions for me. They gave me information, perspective, encouragement, and sometimes warning, but I still had to choose. I still had to act. I still had to grow and make my own decisions. That is self-determination and something for which we should advocate.

Perhaps beneficial contact would be similar. A beneficial race might give us information about the larger universe we are emerging into. It might warn us about dangers we do not yet recognize or encourage us to stop destroying the planet that sustains us. But it would not take control of our civilization. It would respect our freedom and our responsibility to find our own way.

This is where I think the question of contact becomes much more complex than whether "aliens" are good or bad. If there are many intelligent races in the universe, why would we expect them all to be the same? Some may be beneficial. Some may simply be pursuing their own interests. Some may be observers, traders, or explorers. Some may understand the importance of leaving a young emerging race alone. Others may not.

We don't have to know all of this yet, but we do need to learn how to tell the difference.

For me, this is an important part of preparing for contact. I want to understand what is happening in our skies and what governments know. I want the evidence. I want greater transparency. But information alone will not prepare us for contact. We will also need discernment and a stronger sense of who we are and what we value.

I have to look at my own hopes, fears, and preferences. I have to be willing to consider that life in the universe may not be what I want or expect it to be. I have to learn to remain open without becoming naïve and remain cautious without becoming fearful. I have to be willing to see what is actually there.

Humanity has a lot of growing up to do. We are divided and conflicted, and we are not taking very good care of this beautiful world. Yet there is also tremendous courage, compassion, creativity, and spiritual strength here. There is freedom here, however imperfectly expressed, and there are people everywhere trying to contribute something meaningful to the world. 

Perhaps we need to value each other and our world more deeply as we prepare to encounter other forms of intelligent life. 

We do not have to be perfect. But we do need to become wiser and more responsible for what we already have. We need to be able to encounter something greater than ourselves without worshiping it, fearing it, or giving our authority away.

Preparing for contact, for me, means learning to look more clearly, question my own assumptions, and develop the discernment to recognize what is truly beneficial for humanity and what is not. It means being willing to let go of what I want to be true, to see what is actually there.

We have to start from where we are. But above all, we must remain committed to the Truth, with a capital T, wherever that leads us.